I Never Promised You A Rose Garden
Do you remember the first time you spent the night at your childhood home after you moved out? Did it feel different? Did it almost feel foreign? Was it uncomfortable at first that it felt different but after a few experiences, you accepted it?
All those questions applied to me. Most of my childhood was spent in a smaller, three bedroom (one bathroom), farm house with my parents and sister. We lived in the country so there was lots of space between houses (with fields or animals). When I moved away to college, even though my college was only 1/2 hour or so away, I moved into the dorm for the independence and experience.
As a side note, my mom helped me get all the items for my dorm room (sheets, towels, supplies, etc.), and helped me move in. I was unaware of the emotional angst she was going through. In fact, I found out later that after she left me, she had to pull over and cry. So, if you find out a mom is helping her child move out, you might want to lend a supportive shoulder.
I worked all the way through college at the mall 30 miles away and near my home. So, every weekend, I was working two full days in the mall and I spent the night at my parents house. My mom was happy because she felt needed (at least that is what she told me) by doing my laundry while I worked at the mall.
But, I started noticing changes. The house started feeling less and less like my home and more like my parent’s house. One weekend, I came home and found my twin bed in the hallway because my room was being converted into a small upstairs living room. Changes were underfoot.
Sometime after I graduated from college and got married and moved in with my new wife, I think my mom asked me, gently, if I would mind taking the rest of my stuff (I believe my dad referred to it as my cr@p) with me to free up the small closet storage space. That is when I knew that the house would never be my home again. I had a new home and a new life somewhere else.
“Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, ‘If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.’” - Luke 14:25-33 ESV
Jesus told us that following him may not be easy and you will be shifting your priorities. Jesus didn’t promise that following him would be easy. In fact, he said the opposite. We might lose everything we’ve loved to make God our priority.
I remember talking with my wife about whether a spouse or a child would be a higher priority (if you had to choose). I was sure that she would be mine. She wasn’t and still may be undecided in regards to me or our son.
Following Christ is a different transformation. We are commanded to pick up our cross and follow Christ. But the ultimate aim of our faith walk race is to be an heir with Christ in heaven. We need to remind ourselves that God never said our faith walk would be easy and definitely never promised us a rose garden (as the song goes).
The price may be steep but the joy is worth it.
