A Kind, But Genuine, Compliment
I’ll be the first one to admit that expressing emotions is not one of my strong points. Even though I managed people for 30 years, I always recognized I needed to put effort into acknowledging the good things people did and complimenting them appropriately. Some people easily do this and I’m envious.
That last word “appropriately” in the above sentence is likely more significant than most people realize. Let me give you an example. I played a song for people yesterday, and after I finished, several people said things like “good job” and “you were great”. Those kinds of compliments, while nice to hear, always have embarrassed me a little. Most of the time, if I’m doing something for others, it is because I want to share something of myself with them, not because I’m fishing for accolades.
“For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive, but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness. Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others, though we could have made demands as apostles of Christ. But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.” - 1 Thessalonians 2:3-8 ESV
Back to yesterday, one of the people I ran into was a fellow performer. She said I did a good job. Then she added that she remembers hearing me practice that song earlier in the year and that I had made a huge improvement in its playing. My heart leapt for joy! I had put a lot of effort into the delivery and someone pointed out to me that she could tell. It changed from a compliment on a performance to recognition of the effort I had made to share the song with others.
In managing people, I tried to recognize their successes in a way that was meaningful to them. Some people thrived on public accolades, some on private acknowledgment and others on receiving a little gift (even a candy bar). Each person was different in the way they appreciated acknowledgment of a good job.
In my mind, I picture God, alone with me, where I’m longing to hear the words “well done, faithful servant”. I don’t need, nor do I want, that to be broadcast to everyone.
“His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.” - Matthew 25:21, 29
I’m still working on it.
