Family

Both of my parents grew up on family farms.

My dad’s family, as far as I knew, consisted of my dad (of course), my aunt, my cousins, my grandpa and my grandma, of whom I only had a vague recollection because she passed away before I turned 5. I’ve heard the occasional story about the extended family, but I don’t remember ever meeting them (nor do I remember my uncle who was divorced from my aunt). 

On my mom’s side, I grew up with an extended family of aunts and uncles, cousins, great-aunts (widowed or never married and childless) and my great-grandmother, Eva. Eva’s husband had passed away around the time I was born, but I heard lots of stories about them as immigrants from Sweden.

They lived in a two-story farmhouse with four or five bedrooms, a sunroom, a library and an office.  I loved spending time with Eva because she was so nice and friendly. Besides the typical great-grandmother candy dish, she also was fond of Twinkies and passed that preference to me.

My grandma and grandpa lived in a smaller house on the other side of the pasture that was between them, with a creek running through it. It was a newer house with three bedrooms. After my great-grandmother passed away, my grandma and grandpa moved into the big farmhouse, which is the one he was raised in. My uncle (the youngest of their three children) abandoned his civil engineering support job and moved in to help on the farm.

The extended family (all of us living within 50 miles) saw each other at least two or three times a year, with my grandma being the matriarch of the family. Oh, the stories and conversations I heard.

“So Israel took his journey with all that he had and came to Beersheba, and offered sacrifices to the God of his father Isaac. And God spoke to Israel in visions of the night and said, “Jacob, Jacob.” And he said, “Here I am.” Then he said, “I am God, the God of your father. Do not be afraid to go down to Egypt, for there I will make you into a great nation. I myself will go down with you to Egypt, and I will also bring you up again, and Joseph’s hand shall close your eyes.” Then Jacob set out from Beersheba. The sons of Israel carried Jacob their father, their little ones, and their wives, in the wagons that Pharaoh had sent to carry him. They also took their livestock and their goods, which they had gained in the land of Canaan, and came into Egypt, Jacob and all his offspring with him, his sons, and his sons’ sons with him, his daughters, and his sons’ daughters. All his offspring he brought with him into Egypt.” - Genesis 46:1-7 ESV

About the time I became an adult, got married, and we had our son, things began changing.  Cousins started moving away and my great-aunts got to an age where they couldn’t host gatherings anymore. Shortly thereafter, my great-aunts passed away and it became too much for my grandma to host big family dinners. Then, we moved away. An uncle and cousins moved away as well. No one took up the mantle as the matriarch or patriarch of the family. Family gatherings ceased.  Unfortunately, now the family only sees each other for funerals. 

In reading about the history of the town of Dover, it seems it was quite a bustling community in the early 1900s. They had two creameries! But, the comment that struck me was that going to Topeka was an all-day trip. Cars needed gas, water and oil a few times between here and there, and the cars were slower. That implied the community had to be self-connected to meet most of its needs.

It seems in our current society, with the ability to jump in a car and drive a hundred miles for a simple errand, and electronic communication, we’ve given up some of the interconnectivity we used to have with our neighbors and families .

“Now the time came for Elizabeth to give birth, and she bore a son. And her neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown great mercy to her, and they rejoiced with her.” - Luke 1:57-58 ESV