If I Could Go Back
I was in a group discussion where someone asked Patrick what I consider to be a tough question to answer without referencing our feelings. He gave us a summary of his faith walk and how, for a short time, he wasn’t focused on God. I know I can relate to that, and I’d guess many of you can, too.
While reflecting on this portion of his life, he said he was, of course, now committed to following Jesus and doing God’s work for the rest of his life. He wanted to work for God and God’s plan. Then, he got a little more reflective and said he was sorry he wasted so much time when he could have been serving God. (I’m doing this from memory, so please give me grace if I don’t recall it exactly as he said it).
“Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.” - James 3:1-4 ESV
I wanted to jump up and argue with him. You see, I believe God has a sovereign plan for everyone and everything, including me. If that is the case, then nothing that happens to you or me is outside of God’s plan. God uses all the good and bad things to mold us into the person he wants us to be, so we can accomplish His work.
“Now these things took place as examples for us, that we might not desire evil as they did. Do not be idolaters as some of them were; as it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink and rose up to play.” We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day. We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents, nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer. Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come. Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” - 1 Corinthians 10:6-13
When I think back to some of the stupid stuff I’ve done in my life, or that has happened to me, I know it has made me who I am today. For example (I’m not going to share the really stupid things I’ve done because it would embarrass me), when we lived in Springfield after we got married, we bid on several houses we didn’t get. At the time, we didn’t know God had planned for us to move to New Orleans. In retrospect, moving to New Orleans probably saved our marriage because in Springfield, we were just too close to our parents. Having our parents so accessible made it too easy when we disagreed. Moving forced us to work with and talk to each other, rather than running home to Mom and Dad.
I’ve come to the point in my faith walk that, rather than continuing to be remorseful for all the stupid things I’ve done in the past, I ask for forgiveness and work my hardest not to repeat those mistakes.
I would like to say I’ve been fully successful but…
