(Names have been changed to protect the innocent.)
I, as is my habit, got to class early today. I like to go to the student lounge and hang out, read email, etc., before class starts.
Today, I got to the lounge and Rudolf was there working on something. Rudolf is the student who, a couple of years ago, was in a class with me and went by a different name and gender than what Rudolf presents now. I’ve written that Rudolf’s situation bothered me because we had at least a homework connection from that class we took together. (I’m trying not to use pronouns, but I’ll likely slip.)
Today, I asked Rudolf if Rudolf was busy and, if not, if I could ask Rudolf a question. I mentioned the department student meeting where Rudolf was introduced as a librarian but with a different name and implied gender. I had known Rudolf as Heather from the shared class we took.
Rudolf explained that over a year ago, Heather decided that Heather would be happier if Heather’s gender was different than what was assigned at birth. The form of that answer, “assigned at birth,” was a clue to me that Rudolf had convinced Rudolf’s self that gender was fluid and any assignment is arbitrary, even at birth. Rudolf went on to explain that Rudolf has been on hormone therapy for over a year now and Rudolf has transitioned to presenting as a male.
After Rudolf finished, I asked if Rudolf was happy in Rudolf’s transitioned gender. Rudolf replied that Rudolf was happier than Rudolf had been in years. Rudolf went on to explain that Rudolf’s close friends and family had accepted Rudolf’s new gender.
That would have been the end of the conversation except that Rudolf thanked me for asking in a kind and respectful manner. Rudolf said a lot of people didn’t understand what Rudolf was and is going through. I commented that my aim was to be nice and respectful always, but I didn’t have a basis to understand what Rudolf was and is going through.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV
You might ask why I didn’t try to share with Rudolf that what Rudolf was doing was sinful. You might even think I failed because I didn’t try to share the good news with Rudolf. When Rudolf thanked me for approaching Rudolf and Rudolf’s situation in a kind and respectful manner, I knew the Holy Spirit was directing me. I was there to plant a seed. I inquired whether Rudolf was happy and allowed Rudolf to open up to me if Rudolf wanted to. I didn’t confront Rudolf in an argumentative way, although I’d guess by Rudolf’s reply to me that others had, and, God willing, I left the door open for future conversations.
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” - Matthew 7:1-5
God’s timing is perfect and beyond my ability to comprehend. My job is to be patient.
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.” - Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
