The Band
I did something a while back that I haven’t done in 44 years - I joined a band. Who the band is isn’t important. The important detail is this band has college music majors in it, high school music teachers and other people way more musically talented than I am. In fact, I knew several of the music majors and they were playing different instruments from their primary instrument (it makes sense that if you are planning on teaching music, you should have a good understanding of most instruments).
Anyway, I arrived last night and the instruction was to pick a chair that you anticipated would best fit (clarinet 1, clarinet 2, etc.). I saw the 1 and 2 chairs but no 3 chairs. I asked the conductor and she laughed. I sat in a the 2nd chair.
I think the folder had 5 distinct songs and some of them were multiple page songs (I’m scared of trying to flip music while playing). Most of them had, let’s say interesting rhythms and segments with sixteenth notes (another fear of mine). Some of them had non common time signatures (I can think in 4 beats of a quarter note to a measure but really 9 beats of eighth notes to a measure - why?). I had never heard of any of the songs before so I was sight reading music. In fact, the conductor asked who knew of the songs and almost all of us were sight reading.
We started with the first song and I did ok sight reading it. We got to the second song and it threw everyone of my fears into the music. At one point, I was so lost I just had to wait for the conductor to stop or the song to end. The rest of the practice was some mix of better segments of playing in the group and not knowing for sure where we were in the music.
I came home and I told my wife that I didn’t know if I felt more like the old dog with the puppies frolicking around him or the younger brother trying to play baseball with my older brother and his friends. All of the other players (mostly college age) - to me - were sight reading much better than I was. I decided to email the conductor and ask her if I was trying to bite off more than I could chew.
Here is the first couple of sentences of her reply - “I think you are going to do just fine!! Certain pieces will be more challenging than others, and that's okay.” And here is the last couple of sentences of her reply - “In summary - I hear your concerns - but I think you will find that you will grow exponentially as the semester progresses! I hope that you continue to play with the group.”
It is amazing how a few sentences of positive encouragement can dissipate worry and anxiety about being good enough.
“Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. But recall the former days when, after you were enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings, sometimes being publicly exposed to reproach and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated. For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one. Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.” - Hebrews 10:19-25, 32-36 ESV
“But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it— the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. Then what becomes of our boasting? It is excluded. By what kind of law? By a law of works? No, but by the law of faith. For we hold that one is justified by faith apart from works of the law.” - Romans 3:21-28
The bottom line is that I’m not going to give up. I don’t know where the conductor is in terms of her faith but her response seemed to perfectly fit what we are told to do for each other. This makes me want work on my empathy with the Holy Spirit supporting me.
How about you?
