Manager’s Voice
It has been a running joke between my wife and I that I have a “teacher voice.” She uses that phrase when I say something in a serious enough tone that she feels commanded to comply and not just asked. The funny thing is that I’ve never tried to do that.
There are some situations where I know that I have to use calm, cool logic and I logically argue for something with someone. Other times, I acknowledge the situation isn’t clear and I try to acknowledge the vagueness of the situation and ask for a remedy that both parties can live with.
For example, we needed a plumber to come out and clear a blockage. Their fee schedule includes a flat charge just to come and a per blockage clearing charge. I told the plumber where I was seeing the blockage and he thought he cleared them (there were 3). To the best of my understanding, they were all a part of one drain line. Later, I found out, because one of the blockage drains still has a problem, that there must have been two blockages and not one. I called the company and explained the situation and asked if there was anything they could do to help since the plumber originally thought he cleared that drain too. They are sending someone this afternoon. I have resolved myself to be happy with any charge less than a new blockage charge (arriving fee plus blockage clearing fee).
But I’m pretty sure I heard a new tone come out of my mouth (or maybe it is just a variation of the above teacher voice). I’ll call that my manager’s voice. Before I retired, I managed staff for close to 30 years. I had to ask people to do things every day and, because of the work relationship, they felt compelled to agree (or at least question whether it was the appropriate course of action). For example, someone might hand me an analysis of flu incidence they had been working on and I might ask them to change the formatting to make the information easier for senior management to understand.
The other day, I was at a music lesson. This would be the opposite situation from me being the manager in that I was the student waiting for feedback from the tutor. I asked her (nicely) to remind me of something at the end of the lesson. She replied that she probably wouldn’t remember to do that. Not 15 minutes later, I was talking to the accompanist and she mentioned that she’d have a signup sheet on her door to schedule additional practice sessions. I asked her to please sign me up for a couple sessions. Again, the tutor told me (correctly) that that this was my job to sign up. In both these situations, I had unintentionally and unknowingly assumed that just by asking nicely these people would want to go out of their way to help me. I used my manager’s voice.
I wonder how many thousands of times I have asked someone nicely for something that they’ve interpreted as me using my manager’s voice?
“Brothers, I entreat you, become as I am, for I also have become as you are. You did me no wrong. You know it was because of a bodily ailment that I preached the gospel to you at first, and though my condition was a trial to you, you did not scorn or despise me, but received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus. What then has become of your blessedness? For I testify to you that, if possible, you would have gouged out your eyes and given them to me. Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth? They make much of you, but for no good purpose. They want to shut you out, that you may make much of them. It is always good to be made much of for a good purpose, and not only when I am present with you, my little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you! I wish I could be present with you now and change my tone, for I am perplexed about you.” - Galatians 4:12-20 ESV
“But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.” - Titus 3:9-11
In my heart, I love everyone and do not want to cause consternation with you. My sinful nature (and yours) result in insult where none was intended. Please forgive me.
